In organizing a birthday get-together at a wings joint for this Friday evening, it turns out the majority of people will be arriving late. Out of frustration, the co-organizer suggested a "policy" for latecomers be established. I liked his idea, and put it into email form:
As instructed to me by the Senior Wings Officer (
II.513 Tardiness at a Major Birthday Function
a) Each individual who is late for birthday function must consume one (1) complete Suicide Wing for every fifteen minutes of tardiness. Consumption of these wings may be accompanied only by one (1) glass of cold water.
b) Failure to consume said wings will result in punishment as deemed fit by the local Senior Wings Officer, which can include (but is not limited to) the People's Elbow, the Figure-Four Leg Lock, and the Rear Naked Choke.
a) Each individual who is late for birthday function must consume one (1) complete Suicide Wing for every fifteen minutes of tardiness. Consumption of these wings may be accompanied only by one (1) glass of cold water.
b) Failure to consume said wings will result in punishment as deemed fit by the local Senior Wings Officer, which can include (but is not limited to) the People's Elbow, the Figure-Four Leg Lock, and the Rear Naked Choke.
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